Sick

I have been sick in one way or another for about four weeks. My illni seem to have gone through four different stages, linked together by tentative three-day periods of semi-wellness and false hopes.

-An upset stomach in Chile begat:
-Modest flu-like symptoms between Christmas and New Years, which begat:
-Hardcore symptoms (hacking up green matter, fever, weakness, chills, headache, sort throat, malaise, etc. etc.) after New Years, which begat:
-My current cough and sore throat; sinuses alternating between freeflowing and plugged up beyond belief.

These periods of illness directly coincide with cross-continental flights, where the great unwashed masses cough openly into the stale economy class air and wipe their noses with the backs of their hands.

A floating germ factory, yes. An international overnight courier of disease.

In spite of a course of antibiotics and a daily cocktail of over-the-counter (folk) remedies, I still feel unwell. And the only thing worse than being sick is being sick and alone, which is what I am since I am now in Philadelphia waiting for this damn movie to start. Go Eagles.

I recognize that discussing one’s illnesses is about as interesting as discussing one’s dreams in public, but in the interest of keeping a blog I must write about what concerns me most, and what concerns me most is the rather existential notion that I will never be well again.

It seems to me that two hundred years ago people probably lived with a lot of things: poverty, sickness, short life spans, rotting teeth, etc. I wonder if there was more of a notion of playing through one’s pain back then, of just living with it. Now we take the opposite tack, wherein if one feels sad or lethargic or overly exuberant, he or she can find a chemical remedy and normalize quickly.

Being sick for so long alters your perspective on wellness in general. Will I ever be well again? What was it like to feel normal? To be young and have energy and to run without being winded? To sleep through the night without coughing one’s self awake?

A little dramatic perhaps, but it reminds me of a more theatrical time in my life, when I caught an illness in New Orleans, and so curled up with Proust, ate Madeleines, and pretended to be a Francophile until my good health resumed and I had no real reason to battle with his digressive narrative anymore.

That was the romantic angle, anyway. Now I just grumble.

Supra - or - The New Domesticity

Karen and I hosted her annual New Year's Bash the other night, and I spent much of the time in the kitchen. I made Dr. Write's famous Caesar salad, sweet potato stars baked in orange juice and nutmeg and brown sugar, a Chilean chicken stew called cazuela de ave, brownies, and Pisco Sours for all of the guests. To what do I owe this New Domesticity?

After midnight, someone posited the question of New Year's Themes, and what were they for everyone? Not resolutions or goals, necessarily, but themes. Can you distill everything you'd like to do in 2009 into a one- or two-word theme?

This held some appeal for me since I always have a long list of specific unattainable goals, instead of an overarching theme.

To follow Dr. Write's lead, here were my goals from last year:

1. Create a new branded web presence (no)
2. Take 2 trips (yes! Boulder Utah, Seattle, Chile)
3. Make $xxx and save half (no)
4. Finish Way of the Puck (no)
5. Rewrite The Secret Unbelievable (an old script) (no no no)
6. Live an Interesting Life (no)
7. Be Happy (sometimes, yes near the end)

Actually, looking at these 2008 goals I realize that they were much broader and more achievable than in years past. But still I did not meet them.

So, confronted with this idea of a New Years Theme for 2009, and lacking anything clever to say, I declared that my theme is:

Supra

or... Supra Blank

Transcending... whatever.

Pressed for specifics, I said that I would like to transcend the notion of success and failure, whatever that means. This binary framework is largely unproductive, but it is pretty much the sole metric with which I have traditionally judged my worth. I would like to play past that and just try to have fun this year.

And blog more, of course.

Some others at the party were:

-Enjoy
-Strength
-Sit With It
-Make It Happen
-Etc.

What is your New Years Theme?