Can a broken thing really fix itself? I like to think so. That weird shimmying alignment thing that happened on sharp left turns? Gone. That unnerving clicking noise my computer used to make? Gone. My leaky showerhead? Huh, it's fine now for some reason.
I want to believe in this because a belief that things can fix themselves is a vote against entropy, a vote against science and logic and loud shout for the idea of "good luck" or something. This naive hopefulness is probably a diirect result of my lack of mastery over the technical workings of these things...a return to superstition...where I need to make sacrifices to appease the Water Pump God and pray to the Microwave Oven Elves because bad things just happen for no reason in this world so why can't good things too?
Ultimately there is probably some confusion between the symptom of the broken thing and the broken thing itself. The shimmying thing has abated and the shower isn't as drippy but does that mean the problem is fixed?
I hate to admit it, but probably not.
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Saturday, September 16, 2006
The Fuzzy Logic of Credit
Recently I went to the bank to open a checking account for my company, Creative Ape. The guy setting me up said I had excellent credit and that I could qualify easily for a small business loan or home loan.
"Really?" I said. "No kidding."
I had always thought my credit was kind of mediocre. There were some big scabs from the college years and a lot of late payments, followed by the last ten years of what has been essentially non-usage. Debit and debit only has been my purchasing strategy.
Meanwhile, I've been trying to take concrete steps toward the organization of my sloppy life and one of my tasks was to cancel all dormant credit cards and open just one card with a better frequent flier mile scheme. I discovered there were still a lot of cards which were still active (although there was never any activity on them and they never sent statements and I never called that 800 number on the sticker on the back when the new ones came in the mail). I get a lot of mail from the different companies and often it was difficult to determine if it was a new card coming for an old account or if it was just a promotional thing or what. And who wants to read all of that fine print?
So in the end I cancelled about seven cards that had been dormant for 3 to 10 years. And each customer service representative stuck to the script and asked why I was leaving, especially when I had such excellent credit?
Because this is the data: I've had all of these cards for a significant amount of time and I'm not carrying a balance on any of them and I have no late payments on them.
Well duh. I haven't been using them.
But does the credit bureau know this?
Anyway, maybe I'm missing something, but it seems like my lazy, totally irresponsible behavior has sculpted my scabby credit into something smooth and firm and toned and reliable.
Maybe this fuzzy logic can work in my favor for a change.
Go figure.
"Really?" I said. "No kidding."
I had always thought my credit was kind of mediocre. There were some big scabs from the college years and a lot of late payments, followed by the last ten years of what has been essentially non-usage. Debit and debit only has been my purchasing strategy.
Meanwhile, I've been trying to take concrete steps toward the organization of my sloppy life and one of my tasks was to cancel all dormant credit cards and open just one card with a better frequent flier mile scheme. I discovered there were still a lot of cards which were still active (although there was never any activity on them and they never sent statements and I never called that 800 number on the sticker on the back when the new ones came in the mail). I get a lot of mail from the different companies and often it was difficult to determine if it was a new card coming for an old account or if it was just a promotional thing or what. And who wants to read all of that fine print?
So in the end I cancelled about seven cards that had been dormant for 3 to 10 years. And each customer service representative stuck to the script and asked why I was leaving, especially when I had such excellent credit?
Because this is the data: I've had all of these cards for a significant amount of time and I'm not carrying a balance on any of them and I have no late payments on them.
Well duh. I haven't been using them.
But does the credit bureau know this?
Anyway, maybe I'm missing something, but it seems like my lazy, totally irresponsible behavior has sculpted my scabby credit into something smooth and firm and toned and reliable.
Maybe this fuzzy logic can work in my favor for a change.
Go figure.
Monday, September 04, 2006
Here Comes the Past
In the June of 1993 my girlfriend and I finished up spring quarter, quit our jobs, and moved to New Orleans. She had family friends there with whom we stayed for about four days while finding our apartment on 2nd and Carondolet. After that we were pretty much on our own. I had difficulty getting a job and eventually lied about my experience and got a job waiting tables in the French Quarter. She got a job doing photo processing all the way down St. Charles at the Riverbend. We had no money.
But it was a great time, and great fun. A great adventure, if you will, and one of the only memorable periods of my lame-duck college years. It was my first time to live away from Washington state and it felt so foreign. More foreign than going to foreign countries now. I crave this foreignness often but you can only go away for the first time once, and after that, well, everything pales.
It was a totally irrational decision to take off for a new place with no plan and no money, but had we actutally had a goal of scrimping and saving then we never would have left. And I can say that the adventure shaped me in some way, that it made me a better person, and more worldly, and much happier than I was, and I think about this period often, and about how even the humidity seemed foreign.
A couple of weeks ago an extremely flaky old friend showed up at my door. A and his wife were moving from Seattle down to Los Angeles. He was 34 and bored utterly with Seattle where he was never able to make headway doing artistic things there. He worked mainly in hi-tech and software development but near the end I think most of their savings got eaten up around the move and the transition out of working in Seattle.
They don't have a lot of money. And they don't have jobs. And now they are here. There might be a plan, or a loose goal, or something like that, but it all seems quite off the cuff.
Insane, kind of.
But exactly what my girlfriend and I did when we were in college.
So what has happened in the last 13 years of my life to make me change my opinion about this kind of behavior? I mean, it's always been irresponsible, sure, but isn't it worth it? Surely, it's worth it. Funny enough, I was one of the loudest proponents for them moving down and even gave some kind of "you have to seize life by the balls" motivational speech...but never in a million years did I think that they would actually get it together, say goodbye, and make the physical move down to LA.
Am I turning into a pussy? Is this what "adulthood" is about? Responsibility?
The whole thing is very weird...and it's very weird too to be one of two people that this couple knows in LA. So now there is pressure to hang out and have this whole chapter of my past reopened. I don't know that there is room for him, exactly. He burned me multiple times in our history. I don't know that there is space for new friends, or new old friends, or whatever. I have my life and I am satisfied with it and now there's this whole weird new awkward component coming in and knocking on my door.
But I am more concerned about what I am becoming, which is someone who acts out of a fear of losing what he has...instead going after what he really wants, which often entails risk...
Even more disturbing is that there is a motivational book about this called "Who Stole My Cheese?" and I have read it!
If I were still 22 and met my 35-year-old self, I'd spend a few days laughing my head off. Then I'd throw up. Then I'd laugh some more.
But it was a great time, and great fun. A great adventure, if you will, and one of the only memorable periods of my lame-duck college years. It was my first time to live away from Washington state and it felt so foreign. More foreign than going to foreign countries now. I crave this foreignness often but you can only go away for the first time once, and after that, well, everything pales.
It was a totally irrational decision to take off for a new place with no plan and no money, but had we actutally had a goal of scrimping and saving then we never would have left. And I can say that the adventure shaped me in some way, that it made me a better person, and more worldly, and much happier than I was, and I think about this period often, and about how even the humidity seemed foreign.
A couple of weeks ago an extremely flaky old friend showed up at my door. A and his wife were moving from Seattle down to Los Angeles. He was 34 and bored utterly with Seattle where he was never able to make headway doing artistic things there. He worked mainly in hi-tech and software development but near the end I think most of their savings got eaten up around the move and the transition out of working in Seattle.
They don't have a lot of money. And they don't have jobs. And now they are here. There might be a plan, or a loose goal, or something like that, but it all seems quite off the cuff.
Insane, kind of.
But exactly what my girlfriend and I did when we were in college.
So what has happened in the last 13 years of my life to make me change my opinion about this kind of behavior? I mean, it's always been irresponsible, sure, but isn't it worth it? Surely, it's worth it. Funny enough, I was one of the loudest proponents for them moving down and even gave some kind of "you have to seize life by the balls" motivational speech...but never in a million years did I think that they would actually get it together, say goodbye, and make the physical move down to LA.
Am I turning into a pussy? Is this what "adulthood" is about? Responsibility?
The whole thing is very weird...and it's very weird too to be one of two people that this couple knows in LA. So now there is pressure to hang out and have this whole chapter of my past reopened. I don't know that there is room for him, exactly. He burned me multiple times in our history. I don't know that there is space for new friends, or new old friends, or whatever. I have my life and I am satisfied with it and now there's this whole weird new awkward component coming in and knocking on my door.
But I am more concerned about what I am becoming, which is someone who acts out of a fear of losing what he has...instead going after what he really wants, which often entails risk...
Even more disturbing is that there is a motivational book about this called "Who Stole My Cheese?" and I have read it!
If I were still 22 and met my 35-year-old self, I'd spend a few days laughing my head off. Then I'd throw up. Then I'd laugh some more.
Saturday, September 02, 2006
Eighteen Dollar Burger
The gf bought me an eighteen dollar burger last night (okay, so it was $15.50 w. tax and tip).
Remarkable!
Remarkable!
Friday, September 01, 2006
Cinema of the Relevant
1. Jonathan Glazer
2. Alfonso Cuaron
3. David Fincher
4. Christopher Nolan
5. PT Anderson
6. Noah Baumbach
7. David O. Russell
8. Sofia Coppola
9. Richard Linklater (barely hangin' on)
10. Spike Jonze
11. Alejandro Inarrito
12. Ang Lee
Poseurs
1. Doug Liman
2. Guy Ritchie
3. Luc Besson
4. Robert Rodriguez
2. Alfonso Cuaron
3. David Fincher
4. Christopher Nolan
5. PT Anderson
6. Noah Baumbach
7. David O. Russell
8. Sofia Coppola
9. Richard Linklater (barely hangin' on)
10. Spike Jonze
11. Alejandro Inarrito
12. Ang Lee
Poseurs
1. Doug Liman
2. Guy Ritchie
3. Luc Besson
4. Robert Rodriguez
Noveling
I've decided to revisit the novel for another month, starting today. It's already been 9 months since the first draft petered out back on November 30. I can't seem to make any progress at all these days so I think I need to try the speedwriting thing once again. The goal will be to increase the scope of the book by about 50 percent while trimming by a third and dividing all action into 18 discrete chapters. This will be fairly hard because the things are still very poopy at this point. Alas, poop in, poop out.
Will post from time to time at the Noveling blog.
Anyone up for this? Anyone?
Will post from time to time at the Noveling blog.
Anyone up for this? Anyone?
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