Music Video Treatment Writer

A couple of months ago the gf connected me with one of her music video directors who was in desperate need for someone to put together a treatment overnight. No doubt phoning me was a last resort; I was unknown and unproven and got the call around 10:30pm after a long day's work. The video was for a band called Kasabian; I put the thing together in about 5 hours and turned it in, got a couple of hours of sleep, then went back to my real work in the morning.

Music video treatments are really the cesspool of all literature. Right there with greeting cards and income tax returns and the Penthouse Forums. The treatment is basically a sales pitch to the label and the band, telling them how cool the video is going to be and how beautiful and badass the band will look. Good grammar and syntax are optional. Hyperbole abounds. Cliches prevail. They love it.

Here are some short sample paragraphs from previously existing MV treatments (mistakes are theirs, not mine!):

Blackalicious-"Gab and Xcel of Blackalicious are featured in a series of conceptual portrait scenes illustrating the many situations that make us feel amazing. Clever transitions will make this video one of a kind. You will want to keep watching as the shots slide and flow from one to the next creating the longest, most complex tracking shots ever....I will shoot in 35mm for a polished quality with sharp color and crisp clear images. The overall vibe is natural and true with consistently clever twists. Gab and Xcel are massively featured throughout."

CAP.One- "Have you ever been out at a club or party thinking you were the shit when all of a sudden a crew of cats come in and take over the party with no shame. They take over the VIP and start ordering all of the existing champagne. This performance will provide CAP with massive star appeal as a new artist creating a fresh bold introduction to viewers. Nokio joins him on the bar to begin the party while helping him with the chorus. We fade to shots of delicious looking women who lip synch the chorus. They part like the 'Red Sea' as the camera comes forward."

Desiny's Child- "Three of today's hottest young stars--Beyonce, Kelly, and Michelle--take us on a wild ride of survival in this heart-throbbing, brilliantly orchestrated action adventure video. Shot with a hot fashion editorial approach, this clip is going to be fresh as we film their unbridled beauty. It's extremely sensual, cutting edge and the ultimate beauty piece. We hear the mysterious violins at the opening of the song. The camera races along the ocean's surface in search of something precious that lays victim to this vast body of water. Stormy clouds rest on the horizon threatening to strike at a moment's notice."

Erm.

All of these videos got made. The last one was for the megahit "Survivor." This is the stuff that sells.

Often times quite a few different directors will write treatments on the same video. The label and band then go through them and select the one they like the best. It's a contest, really. Other times the band wants to work with a particular director and all the director has to do is supply a not-awful treatment and the job is his. All he has to do is not screw it up.

Many directors don't actually write their own treatments, even though they are supposed to be the driving creative force behind the thing. Unlike commercials, where the director is pretty much a puppet of the ad agency, the music video is really the director's medium. As a whole, the music video world is in the gutter, but many directors who have been able to rise out of it are quite special (David Fincher, Spike Jonze, Michel Gondry, and Jonathan Glazer to name a few).

So after a ten-minute phone conversation with the director I set to task. He had some basic ideas and imagery borrowed from other films, but the task of fleshing it all out and making it cohere was mine.

So in this way the writing was creative. I was the primary creative force behind making the sale. But it was also not creative at all, because as a whole the ideas that I was to build around were pretty durn banal and confining. And I was in the awkward position of not knowing how I fit into all of this--writing to please others when I couldn't comprehend their tastes at all. I spent most of my time wondering what record executives and teenyboppers want, questioning if my ideas would fit in with the director's "vision", and dumbing down the manuscript (I was still reprimanded for using the word "tableau" after all that).

It was nice to get a paid writing gig, but also kind of depressing. It made me feel whorish. I mean, who cares, right? Just do the writing and get paid the money. Hmm.

The deal was I'd be paid a nominal sum to write the treatment and then if the job booked I'd get five times the original amount. I've done three treatments for them but so far none of these videos have booked. Is this my fault? Perhaps. I notice that they're not really calling me anymore, which is fine.

For a while, though, I really lived the life! The life of the Music Video Treatment Writer!

Dyno-mite!