Working On My ABs (Boshintang-jip Vol. 1)

I've decided I'm going to start working on my ABs (anticipatory blogs). Instead of using the blog as reportage, I'm going to project into the future, so to create a sense of anticipation--nay, desperate yearning--in the Front Porch Readership.

Today I stumbled across a hole-in-the-wall boshintang-jip. For people who cannot read Korean, a boshintang-jip is a dog soup restaurant. Yes, that's correct: soup made of dogs. Now, this begs a lot of questions. The first is: Is it REALLY a dog soup restaurant, here in LA? Really? Well, that is what I'm going to find out tomorrow night. I don't know, but one would guess that this practice is probably illegal here in the States. Why? Because it's inhumane. Why? Because dogs are cute and cows and chickens are not. Still, one cannot help but wonder. I mean, it's not like the sign says "Dog Soup Restaurant" in English. It says "boshintang" in Korean...and even if they claim boshintang is a more general and inclusive word that deals with "health foods" or (to use the Korean vernacular) "stamina foods," I have to believe that real boshintang, with dog flesh, is available for the rich Korean salaryman who demands it. I will be that rich Korean salaryman. I will demand my soup made of dogs. And I will accept nothing less.

I realize it is not politcally savvy to alienate the largely vegetarian Front Porch Readership with tales of dog-eating savagery and political incorrectitude. But the dogmeat debate is an interesting one and one in which I side with the people of the Hermit Kingdom. You see, many years ago there was a great king who said that, well, because the peninsula is a poor one and cattle are scarce, the consumption of one species of dog is a necessary evil, for us to survive as a people, to get our protein fix. We shall eat dogs. But not just any dog. This one kind of dog. A non-cute dog. No pets or anything like that.

I aim to find out a lot of things. Check back tomorrow for a full report.