Eye Contact

I've always been lousy at eye contact. It's terrible. It makes me look sneaky, or dishonest, or bored, or disinterested, or that I'm leering at women in the background. I'm conscious of it, though, and I recognize that I'm looking away when its happening. But I can't help myself. I just don't like staring at people's faces for long periods of time.

Perhaps this is why my Celebrity Sightings sidebar is so lame. I go through life with my head down, largely, in a book or otherwise. I'm not going to make that celebrity sighting because I'm not so into the idea of looking at people in general. Z, of course, has had tons of recent celebrity sightings--including waiting at the valet with Dan Rather and sitting next to comedienne Judy Tenuda on the plane--but usually I only have sightings when I'm with someone else who puts their identity together. Then I confirm it or deny it. This is my role in life. To say, yes, you're right, but they look a little OLDER. Or to say, no, i don't think so, nice try, though.

So today I'm trying to start the Eyecontact Performance and Maintenance Directive (EPMD). I will look at people until it's uncomfortable for both of us and then I'll continue to stare into their eyeballs. This morning I went up to the Coffee Bean and felt something happening in my periphery...and instead of ignoring it I turned my head and flicked my eyes over instantly and caught a cute book-reading woman checking me out. She immediately looked down into her book, embarrassed--humilated really! It could have been my vintage green Lucky Charms shirt. Or my charming bedhead. Or perhaps she wasn't even looking at me. But by seizing the moment and not looking away, I reclaimed control of the situation. She feels like she was caught staring, even if she wasn't. Ha ha! Look at all of this fine entertainment one can have by looking people right in the face! My god, who knew?