Whither the Slam?

I first heard about slam poetry my freshman year of university. It's possible this first happened my senior year of high school, but the high concentration of cowpoke students at Fife High School makes this unlikely. Slam poetry sounded just brilliant. The way I understood it, slam poetry would be performance poetry for the masses. It would be poetry removed from the polite ass-kissing of the academy. It would encourage audience participation and rowdiness and people would get booed if they dared to bring something lame up onstage. It would be jousty and medieval and kind of punk rock too. And, best of all, it would be a COMPETITION.

Was this all a dream? I've never ever seen an event like this. Ever. Did I just make this up in my head? Because it's a great idea if I did. I will buy a bar and put these rowdy events on.

There's a new coffee shop up on 6th called (appropriately) "Coffee on 6th." It's run by two African American women and it's sandwiched between a Carl's Jr and a Korean video store filled with illegal VHS dubs of all the latest hits. "Coffee on 6th" seems kind of out of place here in this Latin K-Town, but I'm glad that they've moved in and I go up there for a coffee on my days off. There's a sign that says "Urban Poets" and one that says "Dialect" and one of the women says they have slam poetry on Saturday nights, so I decided to support the cause and check it out.

Judges were instructed to rate performances on a scale of 1 to 10 (with 5 being average), but in the end there were just three numbers utilized. An 8 meant something was mediocre or crappy. A 9 meant it was decent. A 10 meant it was pretty good. So everyone got great scores. And everyone was so darn SUPPORTIVE (until later when they could snipe to their friends, I'm sure). At the time, though, it was a major lovefest. The only people who got booed were the judges for giving people 9s instead of 10s. It's not that I'm out for blood or anything. Or spectacle. It just seems like Competition Lite, if you know what I mean. Competition without the competition, without the risk of humiliation. Why do a slam then? Why not just have a friendly poetry reading and get on with your life?

By far the best performance was by a short black woman who did a poem about her fat boot. All of the other poets had the same delivery--the bowl-over-the-audience-with-their-intense-white-hot-ball-of-rage effect--but this woman was calm and smart and funny and had the audience eating out of her hand. She singlehandedly made the "slam" worthwhile. She was wonderful--really hilarious--and I enjoyed her poem very much (even though it didn't rhyme). :)

But the whole event (like most other poetry events in the world, I suspect) was way too benign. I want this thing to exist--this version of the poetry slam thing I have in my head--but I don't think it will ever come around. There will be readings and then polite reactions and back clapping and hugging and then later (only later) will come the backbiting and the jealousy and the two-facery and feelings of cheatedness and then the lashing out and "he's so overrated" and the gossip mill will churn. But only later. Never during the slam itself. We have manners here.

Me, I'm gonna go watch some MCs battle.