So, it turns out the g-friend's very good friend's boyfriend is a guy I know from a long time ago...someone I haven't seen in probably six years. He lost forty pounds of fat and gained fifteen of muscle in the interim, while I've bloated back up to over the 100 kilo mark (the shame!).
He said he thought he had saw me once about a year ago, walking across a parking structure in Koreatown to the Hollywood Video on Western. I said yeah, that was probably me, and then I told him the story of my near-fistfight in that particular store:
Here is the amazing narrative in case you forgot
J in turn recounted his own narrative from the exact same Hollywood Video on Western: a large raving black man in front of him was insulting the Chinese couple at the front of the line. "Fucken Chink blah blah go back home you fucken slanty-eyed blah blah." Then he honed in on the woman: "Your fucken Chink wife is an ugly ass whore blah blah." Apparently this went on for quite some time until the line clicked forward and the Chinese couple was able to leave.
The Chinese man elected not to engage, obviously, and they went home without incident (other than humiliation, of course). But for my friend, this event changed his life. "I don't want to be that guy who just stands there and takes it while some asshole berates his girlfriend. I'd want to kick his ass or at least hurt him in the process." J's girlfriend is Chinese American....so from that day on he started working out and now he's in incredible shape.
You might disagree with his reasoning, as to whether violence in that situation is appropriate or not...I actually think it is...the older I get the more I think physical violence is acceptable in certain circumstances. Call me a savage. But hey, sometimes you have to engage, like it or not, and when that happens you better be ready. (I encourage people to post their age-of-majority-and-older fighting tales here...)
But he's in great shape now thanks to this altercation.
If find that many good things in my life have come as a result of tremendous awfulness. I never would have lived in Asia and traveled had my life in Washington State not been a total piece of shit. I never would have become such a Productive Machine had I not wasted my years in college and not "felt behind." I never would have developed such dogged discipline if I had been actually able to succeed without really trying in high school and college.
"You should find that raving black guy," I said, "and thank him for changing your life."
"Yeah, I should, shouldn't I?"
Moral: Don't go to Hollywood Video.
4 comments:
I'd like to thank the sorority girls that yelled racist remarks at me from their party trailer in October 1992. Unfortunately I didn't confront them and stewed for 3 months, but without them I would have never made my first short film "Drive By." Without angst, there would be no movies...so I thank everyone that has pissed me off. Z :)
I don't know that this advanced anybody's character-building process, but one of my favorite moments was when the historian got in a shoving match with the drunk guy who heckled me during a poetry reading. The historian rocks.
My adult brother and I had to be pulled off each other during a particularly stressful time of my mother's short illness. It was, of course, more about our other older brother who was being a jack ass. We both exploded at each other, rather than at him. (A typical reaction for us.) It wasn't character building but more like a replay of childhood.
"Where the hell did that come from?" I remember asking him later that night when we'd both calmed down.
"Too many Cheez'its," was his reply harkening back to a tussle we'd had when we were kids.
I'm in the posting mood.
We've all been the guy who just stood there and did nothing. You feel like a complete pussy and guilty, but you go home unscathed.
One thing that I always have a problem with is that I don't want to really hurt another person. Ok, stop laughing. I'm serious. I know I'm medium in stature, but that is precisely my point. I'm not going to intimidate anyone with my size, so if I verbally confront someone I have to be prepared for violence. And because of my size, if I truly engage in violence I need every advantage. Anything goes! It's survival. A few of my punches to a big man's face will most likely make him more angry, but a sharp blow to the throat would crush his larynx. Would a trach need to be performed with a Bic pen? sending him to the wading pool for life. Or how about a jabbing kick straight to the knee to hyper extend it. Would he be crippled?
Physically, I think it would be hard for me to just "teach him a lesson" b/c, again, my lesson will most likely just make him more angry. Which would probably result in my lesson being taught. These are things I am prepared to do in extreme situations, but not over being berated by some idiot.
How about some Mace in the dark? -DB
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